Pete Davidson was very careful with his words.
As a crowd of cackling millennials waited to hear what the comedian and “Saturday Night Live” star would say about his ex-fiancee, Ariana Grande, Davidson made sure not to openly bash the pop superstar. Nor would the comedian, who almost instantly sold out both Sunday night sets with John Mulaney at New Brunswick’s State Theatre, give the audience any new juicy details about his and Grande’s highly publicized breakup (other than what’s already been in the tabloids for the past four months).
Davidson did not mention his mental health or his worrying December Instagram post that said he “didn’t want to be on this Earth anymore,” which prompted the NYPD to come to his apartment for a wellness check. Though he did divulge a few funny Ariana-centric tidbits in his 30-minute set, as he opened for fellow red-hot comic Mulaney at the pseudo-surprise show, the existence of which was only announced Jan. 3.
Davidson, 25, called Grande, also 25, a “diabolical genius” for her now-infamous reveal of his “huuuuge” penis size, both in a now-deleted tweet and in the music video for her No. 1 smash single “Thank U, Next,” which made Davidson the poster-boy for the “Big Dick Energy” meme movement and a list of articles explaining what the hell that even means.
So, why “diabolical” for what sounded like a compliment?
“Now every girl I f*** for the rest of my life is disappointed,” Davidson joked as he donned a baggy Knicks basketball jacket and orange skull cap while he smoked a cigarette and ambled around the stage.
Davidson also noted: “(Grande) is very tiny. She has very tiny, little hands. Everything is f***ing huge to her. She knows this.”
The Staten Island native, who began on “SNL” in 2014, went on to discuss how the hit “Thank U, Next” was purposely released late on a Saturday night in November, just minutes before he was set to go live on the famed NBC show. It was a calculated move, Davidson said, because Grande’s team had heard that Davidson was planning to comment on the pair’s breakup during that night’s episode, even though he chose to take the high road, calling the pop star “a wonderful, strong person, and I genuinely wish her all the happiness in the world.”
“So, you can now only release a diss record on Saturday night at 11 p.m.,” Davidson deadpanned Sunday. “That’s the only time.”
The comic continued with some behind-the-scenes details: “What’s f***ed up about it is the biggest song in the world comes out and it’s about you, and then you have to go put on a duck hat,” he said, referring to an “SNL” sketch planned for that November night.
Davidson said he and his friends listened to “Thank U, Next” backstage, and while Davidson sulked, one of his pals said: “It’s f***ing catchy, bro.”
The first 20 minutes or so of Davidson’s set steered clear of all the drama, focusing more heavily on Davidson’s more established brand of brusque stoner comedy, detailing how getting high in a hotel and ordering soup at 4 a.m. was a bad idea, and how a baby sucking his finger for a moment too long made him uncomfortable.
Davidson performs again with Mulaney, a former “SNL” writer and “Oh Hello” Broadway star, Jan. 20 in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
During Mulaney’s patently well-pressed and razor-sharp headlining set Sunday, he threw an extra jab Davidson’s way while discussing his wife, Anna, and how she controls Mulaney’s life.
“That’s what you gotta do, Pete, get yourself a Jewish wife,” Mulaney said to a roar of laughs. “You will never have to make any decisions. There will never be any songs.”